Gregory had an away tournament near Turtle Lake. It was a real learning experience for him. This was a tournament based solely on weight, not experience or grade level. The kids he wrestled were real good. They had all been wrestling for at least 4 years; one of them 10 years and had been to State.
Gregory took 3rd in the tournament and we are very proud of him. He was disappointed. He took 2nd in his first tournament and expected to either do that or better here. He received his 3rd place medal.
A short while after receiving his medal I looked at him and noticed something different. The colors on the ribbon of the medal that he was wearing around his neck were a different color than they had been half an hour earlier. They were now red and black (Stillwater colors).I asked him what was going on with his medal.
G: I'm wearing my 2nd place medal from the Stillwater tournament.
M: Why
G: It is 2nd place. It is better.
M: Gregory, you are at this tournament, you should wear the medal you earned here. Not one you earned from another tournament.
G: It is better. I don't want to be 3rd place. I'm going to wear 2nd place. Now I am 2nd place.
So is that how it works? No matter what place he gets, he can keep that 2nd place medal in his bag and whenever he gets anything less than 2nd place he can pull it out, put the other one away, wear 2nd place and now he's in 2nd place? He never has to face reality?
Don't wear reality. Don't face reality.
A 10 year old at a wrestling tournament is not alone. I know I have seen this, and personally experience it, in many things worn other than a medal at a wrestling tournament. Lack of reality and living in yesteryear is often witnessed in shoe stores, clothing stores, and my own closet.
I don't know how many times I have been in the shoe department and watched as the attendant measures someone's feet...........you will need a size 8. No, I am a size 7. I have never been a size 8. It says size 8. Please get me a size 7, I am a size 7. Size 7 doesn't fit, she squeezes and molds, walks around with a limp. Something is wrong with this shoe. I am a size 7 and it doesn't fit right.
How many of us try to fit into a size small shirt when we really wear a medium. How many of us try on or wear a pair of pants or a dress that is a size or so too small. If that is the size we can get on.......have on.......that is the size we are. Regardless of how we look or feel. We were that size once, and because we have squeezed and stuffed ourselves in it again, we are that size today too! We don't want to be 3rd place........we want to be 2nd place..... and there we stand looking like idiots.........but we have on our 2nd place medal...........so that's what we are!
If only we could accept that it is o.k. to be 3rd place. We need to either be happy with 3rd place and enjoy it or if we really want to be 2nd place we need to do something different to make it happen. Work harder, make changes. Pretending we are in 2nd place, when we are in 3rd, doesn't make it a reality.
We all look like idiots when we try to be something we are not.
The real first place winner..............The one wearing the 50th place medal, but wearing it proudly and well!
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